An Apologetic Letter to Billy Collins.

Dear Bill,

I'm sorry, but I killed the bird
that sits outside your favorite window.
I shot the bird as it sat outside your window,
unintentionally breaking your window.

I also inadvertently plucked all the flowers
from the gardens that surround your house.
Coincidentally, all the bees died too.

I'm sorry to inform you Bill, but I think
I might have prayed to Aeolus to stop
all the wind, but not on purpose, of course.

One last thing, Bill. While I was
smoking all of your precious cigarettes,
perhaps it was me that accidentally set fire
to your very expensive summer cottage.

Look on the bright side, Bill.
You'll finally be able to write about something else.

All the best from your number one fan,
Brittany